Reflections on Alcohol
This post is in commemoration of hitting 1-week sans alcohol.
I don’t think I’m an alcoholic. I’d argue at most I’m a recovering alcoholic? I grew up with an alcoholic parent and have seen a lot worse. My problem is that two glasses of wine used to be enough. That then became I need 1/2 a bottle of wine to chill. Finally it evolved to on a bad night finishing an entire bottle of wine. My ultimate position is that I’m uncomfortable with how comforting alcohol has become in my life.
To clear out my head, and body, I’d like to hit a month without any alcohol. After that point I will see how it feels and decide on whether I’m fully quitting or will go back to social/occasional only.
There was no single catalyst for this change it was just time to snap out of a funk. Perhaps it aligns with my still undefined self care ambitions. What I’ve noticed already is that I’m sleeping better, not having night sweats, and generally finding most things seem easier to do now.
The funny thing is I don’t really seem to miss it. It became almost a reflex or coping mechanism I wasn’t truly enjoying in hindsight.
What does make this difficult is that my partner is at a different time in their life. They are still consuming alcohol so it is readily available most days.
I’m going to reflect on this some more and earmark some small reward for myself if I hit one month with no setbacks. Maybe a guilt free trip to the book store.
More to come on this topic.
Feeling proud and hopeful.
-v-